Conversations With My “TrumpFriends”

Me: I just can’t bring myself to vote for Trump… He’s really pretty crazy.

TrumpFriend: What? You don’t BELIEVE all that crazy campaign rhetoric do you?

Me: Well, he’s pretty consistent.

TrumpFriend: Oh Taylor, so naive. You just don’t UNDERSTAND how this works… Remember we’re dealing with a MASTER negotiator here. He wrote the “Art of the Deal”…

Me: Didn’t his ghost writer AND publisher say he didn’t actually write the book?

TrumpFriend: [Ignoring that] When he says he wants to forcibly deport 11 million people that’s just an “opening bid”… You know, like offering half in order to end up at 80%-90% of the sticker price.

Me: That seems like a strange perspective on rounding people up…

TrumpFriend: Or his threats over NAFTA and the TPP… He’s just gonna go in there and get us a BETTER deal, not actually walk away.

Me: Okay, so he’s not as crazy as he seems? Well, I guess his SCOTUS appointment list is just another “opening bid” right? Playing to the conservative crowd during the campaign? That’s too bad…

TrumpFriend: Oh no, SCOTUS appointments are THE reason to vote for Trump, and he is totally committed to doing EXACTLY what he’s said.

Me: …

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